AN ONLY CHILD — WITH THREE SIBLINGS

The story of Kyle Mill’s unique family tree and how he has paved his path to college

By: Molly Sposato

Many who don’t know him well assume Kyle Mills grew up as an only child – which he did, but the story is much more complicated than that. Technically speaking, Kyle has one brother, two sisters, four nieces, four nephews, and three great-nieces. He is 20 years old. 

It was 1998 in Toms River, New Jersey, when Lin Mills gave birth to a blonde baby boy with chubby cheeks and curious eyes. The baby, Kyle Mills, grew up primarily as an only child, with extra protective and caring parents. “He was sensitive, loving… just a joy,” Lin recalls now, nearly two decades later. She adored Kyle. Ever since he was a baby, he was bright and energetic – always curious about everything. 

His curiosity for the world only grew as he got older. Now a Sophomore at Elon University, he is on track to be the first member of his family to graduate college. After a long family history of no higher education, Kyle has taken the challenge of paving a new path. 

Kyle and his family are no strangers to challenge, however. His family lineage can be traced back through many generations of young pregnancies, challenging family relationships, and adversity. In fact, his family tree can be traced back through six generations of pregnancies under the age of 20.

Kyle’s great-grandmother, Laura Kimble, had Kyle’s grandmother, Janet, at the age of 17. Janet grew up to become a young mother as well, she too giving birth at the age of 17, to Kyle’s mother, Lin. 

Lin’s home life was rather dysfunctional for many reasons, leaving her to rely mostly on her grandparents. “My grandmother (Laura Kimble) was very nurturing,” Lin said. “She was strict with lots of love and always there for me. She was my anchor in life.” Lin rarely goes into detail about her home life growing up, only speaking of it very delicately even now. She and her children seldom speak to Lin’s mom Janet today, for reasons which were not disclosed, but Laura Kimble never wavered in her support of Lin and her family — all the way through Kyle’s birth many years later.

Kimble was the backbone of Lin’s upbringing, and she continued to do so when Lin became a mother herself – also at the age of 17. When she had her first child, Teddy, she left high school to care for her son. She eventually took enough classes later down the line to get her GED, but did not go to college. At 19, she had her second kid: a girl this time, named Meghan. 

When the kids were very young, Lin left their biological father taking the kids with her. She had a third kid at the age of 27; her youngest daughter, Rebecca, known as Bec. Bec had a different birth father, who was also out of the picture shortly after she was born. 

About ten years later, Lin met her (now) husband, Harry. “I met Harry while working at a diner part time to make ends meat, being a single mom,” Lin recalled. It was Harry who became the permanent father-figure to all three of Lin’s children, even before he had a child of his own. “After spending time getting to know Harry, and seeing how genuine and wonderful he was with my – now our – three children, the greatest token of love and life was to have one between us.” Thus, came Kyle – child number four.

Because she was 40 at the time, Lin had to have tubal reversal in order to have another child. She and Harry went through the fertility process for approximately two years after they were married, and when they stopped, Kyle was conceived. Lin was 42. By the time Kyle was born in 1998, both Teddy and Meghan had already moved out and started lives of their own. Bec moved out of the family house before Kyle had any memory, but stayed in New Jersey for a short time after.

Despite her move, Kyle saw Bec more than his other siblings growing up, but she was 15 years older than him so it was far from a normal brother-sister relationship. Bec moved from New Jersey to North Carolina when Kyle hit elementary school, and he started seeing her less and less – usually only for the holidays. Meghan, 25 years older than Kyle, already had a 7-year-old daughter by the time he was born. Like her three previous generations of women, she gave birth at the age of 17. Like Bec, she and her family lived in North Carolina at the time, and followed the same visiting pattern – getting together mostly for holidays.

It wasn’t until Kyle was 12 years old that he met his only brother, Teddy, for first time. Teddy, 27 years older than Kyle, had seen Kyle as a baby but Kyle was too young to remember. They met when they were passing each other on the highway while traveling one day, and stopped to get lunch. “It wasn’t a big ordeal or anything,” Kyle recalled. “It just kind of worked out of convenience.”

He didn’t really know what to expect. “I remember I wanted to leave a good impression,” Kyle said. “I wanted to be a cool kid.” 12-year-old Kyle wore his favorite outfit and neon, reflective sunglasses that day. He was a skinny and lanky 12-year-old with a wide smile and bright blonde hair. Teddy is broad shouldered, almost 6’4, and has done six tours in the military. 

“Imagine being a little kid walking up to this giant 33-year-old military man and being told, ‘that’s your brother’,” Kyle said. “It was a little overwhelming.”

Teddy had been in the military since before Kyle was born, so it wasn’t unusual for him to be away from home. If he wasn’t overseas, he was usually somewhere very far from New Jersey. He had been stationed in Hawaii and Washington for a majority of Kyle’s childhood. 

Because Teddy is so much older than Kyle, he had already had three kids of his own before Kyle was born. The first time Kyle met Teddy’s wife and kids was a year later, when Kyle and his parents traveled to Oklahoma for Teddy’s wedding to his second wife.

Kyle still doesn’t see Teddy much. To this day, he has only seen his brother four or five times in his life. But they don’t have a bad relationship, it’s just the way it’s always been. It is the same with his sisters.

“I definitely looked up to them, but I wouldn’t say I went to them as an older sibling,” Kyle said. “They’re much more like fun aunts and uncles to me.” 

Kyle, growing up as an only child, also had a much different upbringing than his three older siblings. He was the only child to have a consistent father figure for his entire upbringing, something he is very thankful for. Kyle is Harry’s only biological child, so the two of them are very close. “I owe him (Harry) the world,” Kyle said. “He would do for anything for me.” Harry runs his own business, and because Kyle had the grades, motivation, and the financial support of Harry’s growing business, he was given the opportunity to go to college – something his siblings didn’t really have. 

“Up until high school it was kind of like ‘Oh, you’ll figure out what you wanna do’,” Kyle said. “But once I hit high school, my parents really pushed the idea of college because I had the grades and motivation. Before that I think it was maybe thought I would take over my Dad’s business when I got older.”

But that’s far from what Kyle wants to do. His family history is much different than the path he is paving for himself, but that has not stopped him from chasing his dreams. He wants to become a surgeon; a profession that would lead him to up to 12 more years of study following college. That doesn’t scare him, though. He has yearned for independence since he was a young kid watching his older siblings living their own lives. “It made me want to go out and be fine on my own,” he said.

Anyone can see the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about his future of going to med school and becoming a surgeon. Although Kyle is grown up now, a few things haven’t changed: his energy and enthusiasm for life, and his curiosity for the world around him. He is bright, determined, and most of all, humble. His family has made him who he is today, and despite growing up as an only child, he has a large fanbase of loving parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews supporting him.

“We are so very proud of Kyle,” Lin said. “And we will be proud of him in whatever he chooses to do in life, so long as he gives his very best.”

If he doesn’t know you well, he might tell you he’s an only child. But for those who do know Kyle, and know him well, he will tell you it is his unique, complicated, and loving family that made him who he is today. It wasn’t easy, and it definitely wasn’t the norm – but it was his life and they will always be his family. They’re located all throughout the country today, but to Kyle, that’s one of the most special parts about them.

“As a family we have our problems – every normal family does,” Kyle said. “But I also think we are one of the closest families, despite being so far apart. That’s one of the most interesting parts about us: we are everywhere, and we make the distance (in age and location) work.”